Hetalia: World Group Chat
by AoiCho98
Summary: The Nations have created a chat room to keep in close contact with one another however not all of their conversations are about serious manner….
1. The Face

**Hetalia Chat room Fanfiction~**

 ** _Summary: The Nations have created a chat room to keep in close contact with one another however not all of their conversations are about serious manner…._**

 ** _Warnings: Crack, weirdness, some yaoi~_**

 ** _Note: Hello fellow fanfiction readers! I'm back with another fic! This one however will be more...weird and random...XD  
I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless. Enjoy children~_**

* * *

 **Chapter 1 – The Face**

* * *

 **Italy is online**

 **Germany is online**

 **Japan is online**

* * *

 **Italy:** Ve~ Hi Doitsu~! Hi Nihon~!

 **Germany:** Hello Italia

 **Japan:** Hello ^^

 **Italy:** Doitsu~! What are we going to eat today for lunch? :)

 **Germany:** Well I don't know yet. I was thinking about making wrust today.

 **Italy:** ...D:

 **Germany:** What is the matter Italia?

 **Italy:** I wanted pasta….D:

 **Germany:** . . . Nein

 **Italy:** BUT DOITSUUUUU PASTA~ D:

 **Germany:** Nein Italia! I have already started preparing it plus you eat too much pasta!

 **Italy:** YOU CAN EVER HAVE ENOUGH PASTA! O^O

 **Germany:** . . . *face palm*

 **Japan:** How about we eat ice cream today? I've got a new manga~ ^-^

 **Germany:** Nein. We are eating wrust. End of discussion.

 **Japan:** ._.

 **Italy:** PASTA! PASTA! PASTA! PASTA! *furiously waving white flag*

 **Japan:** I will have ice cream and manga ...You cannot stop me ._.

 **Germany:** Italy stop complaining you will eat my wrust whether you like it or not! That is final!

* * *

 **America is online**

 **England is online**

 **France is online**

* * *

 **France:** Ohonhonohonhon~

 **England:** Oh God...what are you thinking you dirty perv…?!

 **France:** Who said I was thinking dirty? ;)

 **England:** . . .

 **Italy:** PASTAPASTAPASTAPASTAPASTAPASTAPASTAPASTAPASTAPASTA

 **America:** 'Sup dudes?!

Whoa what's up with Italy?

 **Japan:** Italy-san wants pasta but Germany-san only wishes to eat his dreaded wrust -.-

 **Italy:** I DEMAND PASTA DOITSU ! O^O

 **Germany:** ITALIA STOP BEING DRAMATIC AND EAT MY WRUST!

 **America:** Oh I see! Well why not just eat burgers? Burgers are the solution to everything! :D

 **England:** America no one wants to eat your grease covered foods.

 **America:** T^T Well then….

 **France:** At least it's edible unlike your food Angleterre~

 **England:** SCREW YOU WANKER

 **France:** Ohonhonhon~ What time~? ;)

 **Italy:** THIS SHALL BE THE PASTA REVOLUTION!

 **America:** Yeah you go dude! NO TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION!

 **Germany:** DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM AMERICA!

 **England:** AMERICA YOU GIT THAT IS COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT TO THE MATTER

 **France:** Well isn't this amusing~

 **England:** SHUT UP

 **Japan:**._. I regret this...I shall go elsewhere…

* * *

 **Japan is offline**

 **China is online**

 **Russia is online**

* * *

 **Germany:** JAPAN COME BACK YOU DIDN'T EAT WRUST!

 **Italy:** PASTA SHALL BE VICTORIOUS~

 **America:** THE RED COATS SHALL PAY

 **England:** DAMMIT AMERICA STOP IT!

 **China:** Aru? O.o What is going on?

 **France:** It's the pasta revolution~

 **Italy:** PAAAAAAAAAAAAASTAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **Germany:** ITALY IF YOU DO NOT EAT THE WRUST THEN WE WILL DO AN EXTRA HOUR OF TRAINING

 **Italy:** D: B-but pasta….

 **Germany:** NEIN! NOW GET OFFLINE THIS INSTANT! LUNCH IS READY!

 **Italy:** TT^TT

* * *

 **Italy is offline**

 **Germany is offline**

* * *

 **France:** Well that revolution was short lived…

 **America:** Don't worry dudes I'll save the world from Iggy's scones~!

 **France:** God bless America

 **England:** SHUT IT YOU ARSE HOLES

 **America:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 **China:** Wait where is Russia aru? Didn't he come online awhile back? O-O

 **Russia:** Become one with mother Russia, da? ^J^

 **America:** AHHHHH DX

 **England:** There he is.

 **Russia:** ^J^

 **France:** How is going Russia?

 **Russia:** ^J^

 **China:** Ayia can you stop doing that face? It's very creepy…

 **Russia:** ^J^

 **America:** Seriously dude stop

 **Russia:** ^J^

 **France:** This is starting to get very disturbing...

 **Russia:** ^J^

 **England:** Someone. Make. Him. Stop. Now!

 **Russia:** ^J^

 **America:** DX AHHHHHHHHHH THE FACE INTENSIFIES EVERY TIME!

 **Russia:** ^J^

 **China:** I'M STARTING TO FREAK OUT!

 **Russia:** ^J^

 **England:** THAT'S IT I'M LEAVING

 **Russia:** ^J^

 **France:** RIGHT AFTER YOU

 **Russia:** ^J^

 **America:** DON'T LEAVE THE HERO ALONE DX

* * *

 **China is offline**

 **England is offline**

 **France is offline**

 **America is offline**

* * *

 **Russia:** ^J^

* * *

 **Italy turned off invisible**

* * *

 **Italy:** THE PASTA REVOLUTION SHALL LIVE ON!O^O

 **Russia:** ^J^

 **Italy:** Hi Mr. Russia~! :D

 **Russia:** ^J^

 **Italy:** Can you please stop doing that face? ^~^"

 **Russia:** ^J^

 **Italy:** Um… o~o"

 **Russia:** ^J^

 **Italy:** PLEASE STOP IT REALLY IS CREEPY

 **Russia:** ^J^

 **Italy** : *waving white flag rapidly* I GIVE! I GIVE! JUST STOP IT! DX

 **Russia:** ^J^

 **Italy:** DOTISUUUUUUU! DX

* * *

 **Italy is offline**

* * *

 **Russia:** ^J^ Kolkolkolkol~ Nice to talk to everyone

* * *

 **Russia is offline**

* * *

 **Thank you reading my weird ass fic! XD Please leave a comment or favorite or whatever you want. All criticism is appreciated it! (Even yours**

 **FrUKLover17...you fucking betch)**

 **Also I won't update as often as I'd like since this fanfic is purely made of my mindless boredom. However if you all like it and want more then I'll**

 **gladly make more! :D**

 **Hasta la Pasta!**

 **-Aoi**

 **Update: Thank you the reviews/favorites/follows/etc ! Also thank you Keiryu-San for correcting me on spelling! (I am not German if you can't tell~) Chu are awesome!**


	2. Don't Piss Off Mommy Finland

**Chapter 2 – Don't Piss off Mommy Finland**

 ** _Summary: The Nations have created a chat room to keep in close contact with one another however not all of their conversations are about serious manner…._**

 ** _Warnings: Crack, weirdness, some yaoi~_**

 ** _Note: Hello fellow fanfiction readers I am back! I'm sorry I haven't updated as msuch as I like but I haven't forgotten about this story! Also I'm glad you all like this story very much! And thanks for all the ideas! I really liked them so they will more than likely become future chapters! They might have to wait though since I already have a few chaoters planned out but if all goes according to plan then I'll be updating faster! Also I have changed a bit of the format (not completely though) because last chapter's formt was ehm unacceptable to certain rules I suppose so here's a new sytle. If you all like it or not then please tell me! But enough of these notes! Enjoy my random ass story!_**

* * *

"-And that's why you have you come online to defend me...!" Peter whinnied as he hugged the small Finnish man.

Tino blinked as he tried to process all the information being throw at him. Apparently someone had made Peter upset on the world group chat. Well he wasn't going to let anyone hurt his child (well more like the child he helped Berwald raise but same difference!)

"Don't worry I'm going to teach those bullies a lesson!" Tino said with his most ferocious pout as he logged onto the chat. He decided to stay on invisible in order to see what those evil bullies were plotting. He started scrolling up until he saw the last people logged as "online".

~Le Chat~

* * *

 **America is online**

 **England is online**

* * *

 **America:** ...Is the ex commie gone? O.o

 **England:** …I believe so...

 **America** : Good! He really freaked me out o-o

 **England:** Agreed.

 **America:** Yup

~Le Chat~

 _Who are they talking about?_ Tino thought. _No matter! Time to find those bullies!_

~Le Chat~

 **England:** So…

 **America:**. . .

 **England:** Um…how's your day going…America?

 **America:** It's going great! :)

 **England:** That's good to hear.

 **America:** How are your eyebrows?

 **England:** Fine thank you.

Wait WHAT?!

 **America:** cx

 **England:** DAMN YOU AMERICA!

 **America:** HAHAHAHAHA X'D I'm just messing with you Iggy~

 **England:** STOP CALLING ME THAT!

 **America:** What is it bad that I care about your eyebrows? :(

 **England:** DAMMIT STOP MAKING FUN OF MY EYEBROWS

~Le Chat~

 _Hmmm looks like America could be a possible suspect. After all he did already make fun of Mr. England's eyebrows...but they are pretty ridIculous._ Tino giggled. _Oh no! I'm becoming a bully too! Bad Tino! I need to find this culprit immediately!_

"Mommy are you telling those jerks off already?" Peter said interrupting Tino's thoughts.

"Oh um not quite yet." Tino went back to the phone.

~Le Chat~

 **America:** X'D HAHAHA NEVER~!

 **England:** DON'T MAKE ME CURSE YOU TOO!

 **America:** HAHA- Wait…too…?

* * *

 **Hong Kong is online**

* * *

 **Hong Kong:** DON'T AMERICA TRUST ME IT'S NOT FUN

 **England:** How the bloody hell-?!

 **America:** Why not? XC

 **Hong Kong:** Do you really think my eyebrows were always like this ridiculously thick?

 **America:** OH GAWD NU D: I FEEL FOR YOU BRO

 **Hong Kong:** Exactly . . .

 **England:** How the bloody hell did you know what was going on?

 **Hong Kong:** My eyebrow senses were tickling…

 **America:** DX I'M SORRY IGGY I DIDN'T MEAN TO INSULT YOUR STUPID EYEBROWS

 **England:** TOO LATE AMERICA! I AM GOING TO CURSE YOU WITH EVEN THICKER EYEBROWS

 **America:** NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU THE HORROR DX *crying in corner*

 **Hong Kong:** Be strong America…Be strong

~Le Chat~

 _So his eyebrows are magic too...? Oh no! This must mean Mr. Engalnd is a bully too!_ Tino thought.

"Are you telling them off now?" The boy asked once more clinging onto the small man.

"Um I'm getting to it!"

He continued scrollling until something caught his eye.

~Le Chat~

* * *

 **Sealand is online**

* * *

 **America:** Who invited the Micro-nation…?

 **England:** SEALAND GET OFF THE INTERNET

 **Sealand:** I'M A COUNTRY :D

 **Hong Kong:** What the hell…?

 **America:** Dude no you're not

 **Sealand:** Shut up I do what I want!

 **America:** IGGY! SEALAND HURT MY FEELINGS! :(

 **England:** Sealand…HOW THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU FIND THIS CHAT?

 **Sealand:** I found out that all there was a cool group chat thing so I decided to join! ^^

 **Hong Kong:** Why…?

 **England:** Sealand. Offline. Now.

 **Sealand:** NEVER! THE MIGHTY SEALAND NATION WILL NEVER GIVE UP

 **America:** Micro-nation*

 **Sealand:** TT^TT Why are you guys always picking on me? Hong Kong isn't a country too!

 **Hong Kong:** But I'm cool~

 **England:**. . .

 **America:** True he is pretty cool dude

 **Hong Kong:** Told ya

 **Sealand:** You guys are all jerks! TT^TT I'm going to tell mommy!

* * *

 **Sealand is offline**

* * *

 **America:** Mommy…? O-o

 **Hong Kong:** Wtf?

 **England:** Who the bloody hell adopted Peter?!

 **America:** No clue… :O

 **Hong Kong:** Better question why would someone adopt him?

 **America:** LOL True!

~Le Chat~

 _Oh no! They really are bullies! Well I won't them hurt my precious child! Not while I'm still a Finnish man!_

"Alright now I've read enough and now I'm going to protect you Peter-" He stopped in mid sentence as he stared at the boy who was currently typing away on his phone. "Peter? Why are you on your phone?"

"Mommy you took to long so I told Dad everything." The young micro-nation said without looking up from his phone.

"Peter! I was on my way to defend you!"

"But Mommy you took to long!" Pete said pouting as he walked upstairs. "I'm going to my room to pout and eat ice cream!"

"No wait! Hold that pout! I'm about to teach them a lesson they won't forget!" Tino said scrambling to log on.

~Meanwhile in the Chat~

 **England:** Then why was I not informed about this adoption?! When did this happen?!

 **America:** Dude it's not like he was like adopted by a pedo or something

 **Hong Kong:** …Or was he?

 **America:** … D: OMG POOR SEALAND

 **Hong Kong:** THE HORROR

 **America:** WE GOTTA SAVE HIM BEFORE HE ENDS UP LIKE ROMANO

 **Hong Kong:** OMG NO! WE NEED TO SAVE HIM LIKE NOW!

 **England:** …I raised a bunch of idiots...there I said it

* * *

 **Sealand is online**

 **Finland is online**

 **Sweden is online**

* * *

 **Sealand:** I'M BACK WITH MOMMY _AND_ DAD

 **America:** SEALAND I'LL SAVE YOU FROM THE PEDOS

 **Finland:** …? Um what's going on...?

 **Hong Kong:** Finland you're the pedo?

 **England:** Ignore these two idiots Finland. Pay no attention to them.

 **Sealand:** IT'S THEM MOMMY! THEY KEEP PICKING ON ME T^T THEY'RE STILL BEING MEANIES

 **America:** Whoa whoa….Finland adopted you O.O

 **Hong Kong:** IKR

 **America:** Well at least it wasn't a pedo ^-^"

 **Hong Kong:** Sealand is in good hands then :)

 **England:** Finland since when have you been raising Sealand anyways?!

 **Finland:** Listen bastards hurt my poor little Sealand and you'll be wishing to be dead! I can use my sniper any time I please! Also I know where you all live and know when you are awake or not! So unless you want to face hell don't insult my little baby or you'll end up paying for it.

Oh I've took care of him for a while now with Mr. Sweden ^-^

 **America:** O-O"

 **Hong Kong:** O-O"

 **England:** Um thank you for that useful information…Good bye…O-O

 **Sweden:** That's my wife

* * *

 **America is offline**

 **Hong Kong is offline**

 **England is offline**

* * *

~Le Chat~

 _Well I'm glad that's taken care of._ Tino thought, being happy that the bullies were scared off. _Huh? When did Sweden get online? And his called me wife again! How embarrassing!_

~Le Chat~

 **Sealand:** Thanks Mommy^^ Oh Hiya Dad!

 **Sweden:** Hello Son

 **Finland:** Mr. Sweden please don't call me wife! Or at least not in the group chat! /)~(\

And Peter why do you call me Mommy only? I'm a man too you know… -.-

 **Sweden:** Because you're my wife

 **Sealand:** Because you're mommy! :D

 **Finland:**. . .

 **Sealand:** Mommy? D:

 **Finland:** Go to sleep Peter it's late -.-

 **Sealand:** But Dad lets me stay up late

 **Finland:** Still it's past your bed time. Go to sleep. Now.

 **Sealand:** But I'm the mighty Sealand Nation! I take orders from no one!

 **Finland:** …I'm coming to your room right now.

 **Sealand:** Night Mommy and Dad! ^-^"

* * *

 **Sealand is offline**

* * *

 **Finland:** Well now that has been taken care of I'm going to sleep. Night Sve!

 **Sweden:** Night. Sleep well. I love you Wife.

* * *

 **Sweden is offline**

* * *

 **Finland:** Night.

WAIT WHAT! O/O

WAIT!

COME BACK!

DID YOU JUST?!

SWEDEN!

COME BACK!

YOU CAN'T JUST TELL ME YOU LOVE ME AND LEAVE!

ESPECIALLY WHEN OTHER NATIONS CAN READ THIS CONVERSATION!

SWEDEN! /)/(\

DAMMIT!

I'M JUST GOING TO LEAVE NOW!

* * *

 **Finland is offline**

* * *

~Le Chat~

Tino covered his flustred face. "Oh why is Berwald so embarrassing! I told him I don't really like those cute nicknames!"

After that the Finnish man decided to keep away from social media for at least while.

* * *

 **I hope you all liked it!** **Thank you reading my weird ass shit! XD Please leave a comment or favorite or whatever you want. All criticism is appreciated it! (Even hate lolz)**

 **-Aoi**


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